The Autumn Colours Run, ‘Eric’ and ‘Jan Jan’

I know what you’re thinking, what’s this all about? Peggy’s really cracked this time; Read on and all will be revealed -

Joyce, myself and JCJ set off for Cardiff West services as late as we could – Hamilton was looking safe with 7 laps to go in China and I’d re-fitted the radiator in the car only two days previously following a repair, so all fingers were crossed…….

We turned up at Cardiff West and there was a good turn-out of cars, 19 I think, 16 of which were classics. Mary and David Bray were the organisers and we were greeted by Mary looking very efficient, but there was no David to be seen. Now I know we in the SWCCC sometimes joke about all the Jaguars such as ‘Oh No! not another one’, but it must be said that the two breakdowns during the day occurred with leaping cats. Firstly, Davids’ E-Type with a total fuel pump failure that required recovery before he got to the start and secondly, JJs XK just before Lydney, also fuel pump. Now I’m not one to cast scorn, especially since David has promised me a drive in his car one day, so gentlemen, I have to say this was not your fault. These things happen to the very best of cars and its all part of the fun. Both failures were probably due to dodgy fuel anyway and in no way reflect on yourselves or the level of maintenance. Furthermore, JJ demonstrated an advanced understanding of the mechanical intricacies of his electric pump and sorted it out – by hitting it! This is all impressive seat of the pants stuff……

Our destination was to be Holme Lacy House in Herefordshire via the M48 and the Forest of Dean. Interestingly, during the last couple of miles of the M48, as we approached Chepstow and the old Severn Bridge, there were hundreds of people on the Motorway bridges waiting for something.

During the rest of the day we had various chats and no one knew what this was about. It could not have been royalty – no one leaves their house for that anymore, or indeed Nicole Cooke, she’s already shaken everyone’s hand, including mine (another story). So it could only have been the Pope, or perhaps, they all knew the SWCCC had a Rally. We still do not know – if you do, answers on a postcard to the editor please.

There was to be no specific mid-morning break, but the opportunity to stop at any number of places, so we chose the Dean Forest Steam Railway as did about 4 others. It was here that I first heard ‘Tom Toms’ mentioned, as in satellite navigation systems. Firstly, a member who shall remain nameless was complaining that his Tom Tom was sending him on a different route to Mary and Davids’ detailed, specific route – WHAT? –I’m still trying to work this out! Secondly, Mary was concerned that David, now with his recovered, but dead cat in the garage was now on his way, direct to the venue attempting to make it in time for lunch. But here’s the good bit – he had reported via mobile that he didn’t have the post code for Holme Lacy House so was unable to set-up his Tom Tom to get him there. Hadn’t he and Mary (on their own written admission) been there the week before ?

Anyone who uses a Tom Tom on a club event should be forced to buy everyone a round of drinks, leave their car in the centre of Merthyr Tydfil on a Saturday night and for total indignation also get a SPOTY. But as I have already stated, for a very good reason, I will have nothing bad said about David Bray.

All the countryside we passed through was wonderful and Holme Lacy House took your breath away. We had a fine lunch marred only by Joyce finding some wire wool in her cabbage. We concluded that this wasn’t a bad thing compared to say finding a cockroach or something, because it implies attempts at cleanliness in the kitchens from a pot scourer pad thingy. So we did the only thing that the British could be expected to do by way of complaint – absolutely nothing!

We then met ‘Eric’ our official guide. To say that he knew his stuff is an understatement. He could have gone on for hours and did! It was extremely interesting though and we not only heard about the house and local area, but threads to Cromwell, the dissolution of the monasteries, the crusades, the Scudamores and the ‘Scuddymores.’ We were surprised at the number of false windows in the house, which had they not been pointed out to us by Eric we would not have noticed. It was also gratifying to learn that the Warner Leisure Hotel group that now lease the complex have, with the assistance of English Heritage restored and maintained it sympathetically. As an example, there is still ongoing work to excavate and restore the Ice House that has been recently re-discovered.

After the tour most staggered back to the lounge and had a pot of tea before departing at about 5:30. We had a great day. Lewis did win the Grand Prix, our radiator didn’t leak and there wasn’t even a bug on the car to clean off once we got home. My lasting memory is of our goodbyes to Jan and Bern – I had joked about the Tom Toms and how I would mention the said misdemeanours in this article. Bern is a technophobe and even has a T-Shirt which says ‘I thought that WWW. stood for Wee Willy Winky’ – so just imagine his reply in his lovely Hereford accent – “I don’t need any Tom Tom – I’ve got my Jan Jan.”

Ending on a totally serious note – I must re-iterate the thanks JJ made to Mary and David following lunch. The 2008 Autumn Colours run was well organised and enjoyed by all. Mary and David did a great job, though they were last seen in the hotel ‘holiday booking’ office. Were they booking a holiday ? or maybe finally getting the post code so they could tell their Tom Tom where they were so it could send them home via Birmingham……….??

Richard

Oh, nearly forget, even though it’s Mid-October – Merry Christmas !